Nathan

My little baby you are 3 months old today! You seem to be growing an inch every day and daddy weighed you this morning and you were around 13 pounds! You amaze me everyday and still are able to melt my heart with just a quick look, smile or grab of my finger. I love you so much that words are not even enough.

Labels: audrey

Hi Baby,
We had a good little walk together yesterday: me, you and Abby just out for a little stroll. You were in this little backpack type thing but it goes in the front, on my chest, so we were really close. I think I stunk a little from basketball so thanks for putting up with me.

Today you came by for lunch as you and your mom do on Wednesday's which I love. You are such a sweet little girl and make me so happy. You make my heart smile especially when you smile at me. I can't tell you how much you have meant to me and your moms life because there just isn't enough words but please know that even at this early stage the love we feel for you is unreal. I imagine it is only going to grow from here, but I just don't know how because it seems impossible.

All our love,
Daddy

Labels: audrey

Dear Audrey Ann, May 30, 2009

My goodness, you are almost 2 months old now! We have just returned from a trip with friends to Grand Cayman Islands. Maybe when you get older or become a grownup yourself you will travel there also.

While we were there, I had an idea that I thought you and your mom would like. I bought you a sterling silver link bracelet that is used to place charms on as you grow up. Right now there is just a tiny little heart on it that is part of the closure with an even tinier diamond on the heart. You know your birthstone is diamond. And maybe you will hear stories about how much I love diamonds!

My plan is to purchase charms for your bracelet as the years go by either at holidays or from some of the places we travel or because I see a charm that makes me think about you. By the time you are a few years old you will be able to wear the bracelet when you get dressed up. And, many many years down the road you can pass it on to someone special in your life.

Now you may be asking yourself why I did this for you. Here is the reason. I like to give what I call “I love you” gifts. This is one of those. Always remember that gifts are meaningful as a small part of family and friends ways of expressing love. The presents are objects that may be useful or meaningful or both and that is all. In time they will break or wear out their usefulness. The day to day loving and caring about those in your life needs to be handled delicately so as not to break and I have never known love to wear out and it is more than useful. It is essential to your spirit and your mommy and daddy understand that and today (at almost 2 months old) and now as you read this my wish is that you feel loved.

I love you,
Nana

Labels: audrey

(from 10/28/08)

Dear Baby Girl,

It’s time to talk with you again. When I sent you the last letter I didn’t know if you were a girl or a boy. Today Mommy and Daddy went to the Dr. and found out you are a girl. Then they called and told us. Before I answered the phone I was simply overcome with emotion knowing that I was about to find out more about you!

It didn’t really matter to me whether you were a boy or a girl and with that I have to admit that shopping for my soon to be born granddaughter will be fun. I will be able to visualize what a beautiful baby and child you are going to be. Your beauty will come from within and because I know your Mommy and Daddy so well I know they will teach you the real meaning of beauty.

Also today your estimated date of birth is March 31. It was originally April 7 so maybe we will see you sooner than we thought. If you are like your Daddy you may be a bit late. I think he was so comfortable he was in no hurry to leave and enter this world. Even when he was suppose to join us it took about 26 hours and finally there was our baby boy George. To think what was my baby is now about to have his baby daughter is a feeling that cannot be explained in words.

As you grow you will not just know but you will feel all the love around you. I have so enjoyed hugging, rocking, kissing and talking to your older cousin, Xavier, I will always want you to know how important and special you are to me. I will do my best to care for you with gentleness and in this way you will also learn how to be with other people.

I will see you soon and will take time to enjoy thinking about holding you in my arms and sharing my warmth with you.

Love, Nana

Labels: audrey

Some time ago (before you were born) on January 21, 2009 I wrote a little something with you in my heart:

I have some time today so I wanted to quickly write you and if I could I would love to read this to our little daughter, but I don’t want to bore her (or you!) Here is a great video (a little more personal view) of the speech. As you know I told you that he didn’t necessarily have his A game yesterday, but who has their A game everyday? Especially for someone whose life has now been flipped upside down. No more little 15 minute walks during lunch like he is used to. No more quick trips to the park to play basketball. So many sacrifices by him to… hopefully… help us.

Call me cynical and jaded if you will but I will say that given what happened in 2006 when we overwhelmingly voted in Democrats to end a war, it hurt me and cut at things in me directly. I sincerely hope it is not the same case this time for me and for our daughter and for us. And frankly, to end the cynicism in this note, some of the holes dug by the out of date and lost previous administration may be difficult if not impossible to dig out of in the short term. Alas.

We take a fresh breath of air today and slowly start to blow out the old cynicism and hurt feelings. We move on as we always have with the country and society we dream of in our hearts. But like the new President always talks about though folks rarely mention it as one of his major themes: we do not walk alone. We have so many with us. Alex is here. Suzanne is here. Adrienne is here. I can feel them. I want not to let them down and eventually I want our daughter and our grandchildren to say: we need to carry on for our ancestors and for those that did the hard thing and turned things around for us especially when things looked so bleak.

“…every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.”

Labels: audrey

You have quite a mommy do you know that?  Last night I am not sure she barely slept a wink trying to make you happy.  She took some time to write you.  She took you on a walk.  She showed her extremely patient side.  You should feel lucky, in your little world, to be so loved.  

Labels: audrey

Hi Audrey - It's mommy. We just got back from a nice afternoon walk around the neighborhood with Abby and your daddy suggested I write you a quick note. We've had a great weekend with you relaxing and spending time with you together. This note is a good idea because on our walk I was thinking about some of the wonderful things you are already doing at just 6 weeks and how much I enjoy seeing your grow and change. The best thing (in my opinion) that you do right now is give us those great big, gummy smiles. Who knew that a little smile could bring me such intense emotion? You can make me cry and smile and crack up with those smiles at the same time. Seeing you feel happy makes me feel so good and overwhelms me with how much I love you. Another impressive thing you do that isn't quite so great, but still makes me laugh and cry is your poops. You've made Abby bark on more than one more occasion by startling her with your impressive gas. Daddy labels them with different alarms... 1 alarm is a basic diaper change and 4 alarm requires a bath and some serious laundry. I'm sure before we know it you will be doing more wonderful things, but for now I am enjoying every minute with you.
All My Love,
Mommy

Labels: audrey

You came to us late on a Tuesday. I have been stealing kisses from you since. You act like you don't like it, but I know better.

You were just asleep in my arms (which I love by the way) but I laid you down in your little vibrating bed because darn if typing with one hand isn't hard. You smiled, but just a bit. Is it because you know how much I love you? Or because you know how much your mom is doing for you? We gave you your second official bath yesterday and it seemed to go well and like daddy you like when the water runs on your head.

Will you have blond hair or brown or some other color? It is hard to tell. It is also hard to tell what color your eyes will be right now, but I will say that when I look into them I see my own eyes looking back at me. Eyes from a different time, but my eyes nonetheless.

So do enjoy my little one as we are enjoying you. Your great (and great!) uncle Rolfe is coming by today to meet you for the first time. We will try to get a picture for you.

Labels: audrey

You have only been in our lives for a few days now, but in just these few short days I have felt my heart swell to accommodate all the love I feel for you. I alternate sometimes between not being able to catch my breath thanks to your beauty and feeling my eyes and heart swell with pride and love. I have only *almost* cried a few times.

You came to us happy and healthy and for that I am eternally grateful. You and your mom had a bond almost from the first moment and you couldn't even barely take your eyes off of each other. Right now you are both laying together on the couch and enjoying a short snooze and break. When I look at both of you I am struck with how lucky a man I am to have two such wonderful girls in my life. You give me pause and you make me thank whatever good luck I have had to deserve the two of you.

In the coming years you will learn that your dad is not a perfect man and will make mistakes, but do always know this: the love I feel for you is perfect. It doesn't just swell my heart and stop my breath but it flows around you always and forever. If you should ever find yourself feeling sad or should you ever just need a reminder of something perfect in this imperfect world please just think of my love for you.

Yours always,
Daddy

Labels: audrey

tonight you saw me for the first time my love. really saw me. and i saw you and my heart melted and swelled, all at the same time, just a bit more.

Labels: audrey